I moved! I’m currently ensconced in the sweetest guest cottage on a friend’s farm while I build my forever home in the village of Old Lyme. This is a safe place to land after a tumultuous year. Getting divorced and selling our home of 22 years was (to put it mildly) a painful process. My daughter, especially, was distraught, as she’s lived in our cozy cape for most of her life.

But here’s what I told her. I’ve loved every house I’ve lived in, from my first home in Sea Gate at the tip of Brooklyn, a rambling turreted Victorian in my family for over 100 years. My sister still lives there. My grandmother called it the revolving door; aunts, uncles, and close friends stopped over and inevitably stayed for dinner. We spent school vacations and summers there, frolicking on the beach, and I cherish the memories. 

We moved to Cambridge when I was six and lived in three different homes over the years, each filled with the most interesting assortment of artists, brainiacs, Peace Corps volunteers, and all manner of Cambridge kooks. Everyone was welcome. 

My grandparents and mother were easy, unflappable hosts and passed that gene on to me. Our home in Lyme was the scene of so many parties; Thanksgiving, Hannukah, Christmas, Easter, sledding in the winter, and pool parties in the summer. 

Yes, leaving my stunning sunrises and evening wine on the terrace was not easy. But here’s the thing. It’s not the house or what’s in it that makes a home; it’s the love and friendship you fill it with and I’ve been extremely lucky in that department.

My new house in the village will be much smaller, but it will have everything I need, and I’m excited about the project. The amount of purging I accomplished in the last few months is astonishing. I figured I had to deaccession roughly half my possessions. That was the most challenging part: twenty boxes of books to the library, twenty bags of clothes to various charities, all manner of odds and ends to the Congregational Church Sale, and finally, whatever was left to Goodwill. I managed to fill a dumpster BY MYSELF. I’m neither a minimalist or a collector of things (besides books and a small collection of art pottery), so the amount of crap I had to get rid of stunned me. I called it my Swedish Death Cleaning (as I hope never to do it again), and here’s how I went about it. 

PURGE: Last year, I hired Chelsea Wade of A Good Home to help organize and clear the basement, giving me a head start. But I still had plenty to toss or donate: I picked through an entire storage closet of old clothes that were too good to dump (I rescued two oversized Barney’s cashmere blazers, which are happily back in style). My daughter’s American Girl collection and an assortment of baby dolls (except Molly and Big Baby, which she’s saving for her future progeny) went to Goodwill. I was horrified to discover that I owned 35 pairs of jeans and managed to get rid of half. If you’ve read the list long enough, you know I had Mara of Bluebird Home help me narrow down an absurd amount of shoes during Covid, but that collection managed to blossom again, so anything uncomfortable, worn out, or duplicates in style went. 

Books were harder. I come from a family of book hoarders, and my grandfather owned a bookstore in NYC. Sitting between the stacks and choosing the five books I was allowed at each visit was heaven for me growing up. I realized I could reread my entire library and never buy a book again since I barely remember them. My criteria for purging? Keep my favorite authors, donate any book I didn’t remember, either the story or the writer, and narrow down a ridiculous amount of design and coffee table books. I’d make another pass at the shelves daily and try to fill a box. 

Ack, the kitchen! So much glassware, my prized collection of Ironstone (sold it), four coffee makers (???). This part wasn’t difficult because I don’t entertain like I used to, so it was easy to off the random wine glasses, dinnerware, and appliances. 

Lastly, Chelsea Wade, owner of A Good Home, has been using my barn for her annual, incredibly well-merchandised sale of vintage and slightly used furniture and decor. I added the rest of my furniture, rugs, and things that won’t fit in the new place. She managed to sell all of it! 

Finally, I sorted what was coming to my temporary digs and the rest to storage. Ellen Madere, master organizer, recommended Essex Mover’s and Karl and his team got to work.  I mainly had them pack paintings and lamps, and I packed the rest, but they pitched in with wrapping and boxing when time was running out. They were so careful with my belongings and upbeat, so during three days of moving that would have caused me extreme anxiety, I was fine. 

It was a months-long, stressful process, but with the help of SO many friends, here I am in my adorable cottage, looking forward to making my new home (being built by Block Design and Build) as full of friends and love and parties as all the rest. 

Resources:

Ellen Madere: Ellen Gets It Done
Mara Fowler, Bluebird Home
Chelsea Wade: A Good Home
Block Design / Build
Essex Moving Company. (860) 876-7671
A La Maid Cleaners (spit and polished the house for the new owners)
A Team Window and Power Washing

Painting on mantelpiece: local artist Brian Keith Stephens

1800 Got Junk (for the heavy stuff you don’t know what to do with, like my broken elliptical)